Leadership is not only about Putting People First, it's also being whole + complete ourselves. We are of no service to another human being if we are not digging in, doing the hard work + continually evolving.
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What happens when a 10-year-old becomes the coach... and her dad becomes the student?
In this episode, I head to the park with my daughter Cassandra, who convinces me to step on a skateboard for the first time in nearly 30 years. Spoiler: there are falls. There is grass. There is a lot of patience from a very small coach.
But here's the thing about trying something new in front of someone you love - it isn't just about you. When Cassandra saw me wobble, stumble, and eventually glide down that ramp, it gave her the courage to try the bigger one herself.
We talk about the fear of looking foolish, the value of being present, and why sometimes the best thing you can do is just show up and try. Plus a few thoughts on a memoir-in-progress about ego, trust, and the real cost of coaching minor hockey (working title: The Egoless Coach").
This one's about skateboarding, sure. But it's really about what happens when we let ourselves be beginners again.
All right, all right, all right. What's going on, folks? Jonathan Sonelli here. People first podcast coming to you dramatically different today. Hey, I got a new look. I got a hat on and sunglasses, and I'm sitting inside. Which is something I don't ever do. The hat on and the sunglasses inside part. It irks, it irks me. It's a sign of respect. You come inside, you take your sunglasses off, you take your hat off. Anyways, that's uh those are my beliefs, not to be pushed upon you. I'm telling you this because it goes in line with my day today. I had the pleasure of spending some time this morning working on the new publication, new book that's coming out, uh The Ego List Coach, and it talks about ego and trust and the cost of coaching minor hockey and what it took out of me. It's a great memoir, so so stand by. And then in the afternoon, I had the pleasure of spending about an hour at the park with our daughter, Cassandra. Cassandra's 10 now, and she says, Dad, let's go to the park. I'm gonna go skateboarding. She bought her skateboard and a rollerblades. And we went to a local park called Tasca Park. Nothing new. We've done this often. She goes to the uh skateboard part of the park, which is a nice set of ramps and stuff, and she starts doing it. And then she looks at me and she hands me the board. She goes, Go ahead, dad, do it. Folks, I paused for a long time and I could feel like the the the nerves inside me going, What the hell is I don't know how to skateboard. I haven't skateboarded in 30 years, since my friend Terry attempted to teach me back in high school. And yeah, sure, I know how to slalom water ski and wakeboard and snowboard, but this is skateboarding. And every cell in my body was resisting. And I'm like, I my initial response was exactly that. I'm like, Cassandra, I'm 44 years old. I'm not here to risk something and do something that I haven't done in 30 years and hurt myself. She paused, she looked at me and goes, You're not gonna hurt yourself. What are you waiting for? She's like, You're strong enough for the other. I'm like, it's not that concentrated. I know I have the strength to do it, I don't have the stability to do it. I don't have the skill set, I really don't know how to do it. Here's what happens next. This girl, 10 years old, sticks out her hand and says, Let me show you. Wow, that floored me for a few reasons. First of all, she's taking the time to teach me, but more importantly, like if somebody has the knowledge to teach, then they know what they're doing. And she's below a beginner, right? She hands me the board and goes, Okay, step into it. I'm on a ramp. Like it's a two-foot drop, it's nothing huge. I said, Okay, step into it. I couldn't step into it. I step down on the board, I follow my ass. Hurt like hell. I lied there for a couple of seconds. Get up, do it again, fall again, do it again, fall again. By the third time, she's like, look, we're gonna do something different. She's like, You're gonna fall into the grass. She points me to the grass, I follow my ass again. She's patient. Why am I telling you all this? Because it takes courage, bravery, and balls to have the courage to teach somebody how to do something when you don't fully know how to do it. And I'm I'm I'm being top by a 10-year-old here, and this is fantastic. And so then I said, Let's just step back. And I stand on the board and I get a feel for it. I move back and forth. I'm like, okay. And then I try to push forward, and she's like, Let me hold the board for you. So she holds the board for me and I get my balance, and then she pushes me. And next thing I know, I'm going down a little hill. She's like, Great, now we're gonna have you step into this. So here she is again, and she's standing there, she's like, Okay, why don't you go left foot forward? Because you seem to be balanced better there. She's like, I'll hold the board, you step into it. She holds the board, I step into it. Guess what? I go down the ramp, I got it done. Holy shit. I'm sweating, but the adrenaline was amazing. Why am I telling you all this? Because this was a thought that was going through my head. I'm like, how many times do we actually hear try something new? And then do we actually do it? And then how far do we actually take it? And today I was in a different compromising position where I was like, I had the tug of water going on in my head and said, This is why I do what I do. Because if she can teach me, then she knows she's going what she's doing and job well done. Anyways, we go through this. By the time I was done, uh, I had gone down the the ramp. We this was literally 15 minutes, it wasn't a long period of time at all. And I said, Listen, I'm done for today. I feel a little bit uh tired with it, and I don't want to do anything that I wouldn't do. Uh or I didn't want uh however I framed it. But I'm what happens next was interesting, right? I was like, Hey, thanks for taking the time to teach me. Give her a high five, give her a hug, uh, kiss her on the forehead in admiration, say like I love you, appreciate you. Thanks for for doing this. And we're walking back to the vehicle, and she goes, and by the way, dad, thanks for the inspiration. I'm like, I stopped. I literally stopped. I was I was side by side with her, but I stopped flying like, Pardon? What are you talking about? Inspiration. She goes, Yeah, you may or may not have inspired me. I'm like, what? I'm curious. Tell me more. She goes, Yeah. She said, because I saw you trying something. She says, I went down the big, the big hill, the big part of the ramp. Well, and I mean it's like a 10-foot part of the ramp, like it's a 10-foot drop. She's like, I've never done that before. She's like, and I went from one side all the way to the other side, and I was like, whoa, I didn't, I had no realization. I didn't, I didn't get that. It was very humbling. So I wanted to share that because it was a refreshing reminder to to sometimes just stop, be present with the surroundings, and look what you learn. The story concludes, we get in the vehicle, and uh she gets in, she starts, and one more thing. She's like, you know, I want to share something for future future knowledge. She said, I said, sure, what's that? She's you know, when you put the skateboard in the vehicle, put it deck side down so the wheels are up and doesn't roll around. Logical, right? You'd think that I'd know that, but I didn't. Anyhow, that's what I got for today. Try something new because you never know who you'll inspire. Let that sit, let that bubble. Anyhow, thanks for listening. Stand by exciting project we're working on is the Eagle Less Coach memoir about hockey set to release at the end of this year. It's a decade and a half of what coaching minor hockey taught me what I learned. The cost of it all, the eagle, the trust that's that's that's built into it all. It uh something special to me. So stand by for that. Anyhow, that's I got for today. Thanks, folks. Until next time, do something great, do something that's gonna inspire somebody else and try something new.
