Resilience and Adaptation: Transforming Life's Challenges into Opportunities with Nina

Can resilience be the key to thriving in life's ever-changing landscape? This week on the People First Podcast, we sit down with Nina Sossamon Pogue, who transitioned from sports to careers in television and tech. Discover how she redefined success, overcame setbacks, and embraced lifelong learning.

We also share a former gymnast's story, highlighting the emotional challenges young athletes face and the importance of a strong support network. Her journey illustrates the resilience needed to navigate adversity.

Finally, learn about the TIPS method, an innovative framework combining stoicism, cognitive behavioral therapy, neuroscience, and big data to help you manage self-sabotaging thoughts and build supportive relationships.

Tune in for inspiring stories, practical tips, and a fresh perspective on resilience and personal growth.

Tumerix- The Root of all Good
Tumerix- Massive antioxidant CODE: PEOPLE FIRST (all caps) for discounts

Intelligent Change-Journals + More
Intelligent Change Products- Journals + Planners Use code : Jonathan10 (10% savings)

MUD/WTR- Save 15%
Award winning coffee alternative Energy + Focus no crash or jitters. 15% discount code

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Chapters

• 0:07 Journey of Resilience and Adaptation
• 11:27 Navigating Adolescent Adversity and Resilience
• 21:11 Building a Life Framework
• 25:35 Power of Isolation and Connection
• 34:12 Embracing Support and Positive Self-Talk
• 39:27 Changing Self-Talk and Mindset
• 48:27 Life's Challenges
• 55:26 Embracing Individuality and Youth Guidance
• 1:02:42 Motivational Speaker Offers Strategies

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

making this happen today and thank you for you know, having those those brief conversations before we push the green let go button. There's a boatload of things to talk about, um, and I'm going to acknowledge you now, in the event, that I just talked too much. Thank you for compartmentalizing, making time to be here today thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 0:27

me, jonathan, it's a pleasure. It's a pleasure. I look forward to getting to know you better.

Speaker 1: 0:30

Yeah, this is tremendously exciting and there's so much of you that I want to unpack. I want to lean in with a question to you to give our audience some creative insight. So share right off the bat, like what's something that's unique to you, tremendously unique to you, that our audience may or may not know.

Speaker 2: 0:52

Well, I was an athlete and I worked as in television and I worked in tech, so I've done a lot of these things, but on the side, I like distance cycling because, as public as I was, I really liked to be just by myself and my happy places are like on a bike or on the side. I like distant cycling because, as public as I was, I really liked to be just by myself, and my happy places are like on a bike or on the beach, all by myself, making sandcastles. I'm a little weird. So that alone time is really important to me, even though I'm such a public person.

Speaker 1: 1:16

Well, thank you Right, and I think that's very important to identify and illuminate right. There are so many sides of us that there's buckets to fill. Right of identifying.

Speaker 2: 1:25

Illuminate right. There are so many sides of us that there's buckets to fill right. Yeah, and that time figuring out. It took me a long time to figure out how I recharge and what works for me. It took me a few decades to get there and now I realize, oh, I actually need time alone, perfectly fine, by myself, and that's a really healthy time for me.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Okay, so hang on, hang on. Let's just pump the brakes here a little bit. There's so much talk, but I'm going to hang out here. That's an evolutionary process that occurred for you. So when you say decades, like that's a long, what's that journey Like? Was something occurring that said holy smokes? I need to figure stuff out.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Well, you know, that's my, my whole story. I speak on resilience and I my research is around resilience and I think I've been on this planet for a lot longer than maybe you or some of your listeners have just been around and done a lot. Now that I'm in my second half of my 50s, I feel like you learn more about yourself and who you are as you age and it changes what you want out of life, changes what you think success looks like, changes the people in your life kind of cycle in and out Every seven or eight years, the research shows. So I think I've just gotten to the point in my life where I know what works for me, and the times in which I learn what works for me are obviously not the good times. It's when you go through the tough times is when you figure out who you are and what works for you.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Okay, and from your experiences, I mean how does that shift Like what works for you? Okay, and from your experiences, I mean how does that shift Like what works today?

Speaker 2: 2:49

may not serve well in three, five, seven years from now. Right right, I'll continue to evolve and grow. I'm a big fan of lifetime learning and continuing to adapt in a positive way. So the definitions of resilience is your ability to adapt in a positive way to whatever happens in your life, and it's that adapt piece that's really key. So you hear some people talk about grit and persistence. Like you know, go hard, double down, make this happen. I am not a grit and persistence that's important. But I believe to have a happy, successful, fulfilling life, you have to adapt because our world's changing so quickly. Our work is changing, people around us are changing. We don't live in a static world. So your ability to adapt in a positive way to whatever happens in your life or your environment is really key. And that's where the resilience comes from.

Speaker 2: 3:35

And if you unpack my past, so I was on the US gymnastics team, but then I didn't make the Olympics Big down, had to figure out how to move forward past that. Then I went to college and I was a D1 athlete, one of the top recruits in the nation, and then I blew out my knee and I had to figure out who was I. Without gymnastics I didn't even know who I was as a human. It had been my whole life. And then I figured that out. Then I got into television. I love television. Television was like being in a newsroom, being a journalist. Telling stories was always something I loved. And then, at the top of my game there, I got fired. They went younger and blonder. And let me go one Friday. On a Thursday. I was voted Charleston. I lived in Charleston, south Carolina. I was voted Charleston's favorite news anchor on a Thursday and then fired on a Friday. Just we are releasing you from your contract without cause. Per your contracts, you know they just let me go in a big budget cut. And then I figured that out and got going again. And so I had these series of times when I had to really refigure and rejigger my life and figure out how to move forward. And I did. And then I went back to TV. I did TV for a while longer at another station. I had a real traumatic life event that then had me at 37, even questioning if I wanted to go on. I was in a really tough spot with what was going on in my life. But then I figured a way forward and was back on top again. I got into tech and worked in a tech company for years and we took that startup public, had a huge IPO and huge success there, huge success there. So my ups and downs.

Speaker 2: 5:04

That piece that I like to talk about and share is that you know you can have bad times in your life and you figure out who you are by adapting and growing. You adapt in a positive way to whatever happens and I am all about. You can have a really crappy chapter or a really tough time, but a bad chapter in your life is not your whole life. A bad week doesn't make a bad year. You know even a bad few years doesn't make a bad chapter in your life is not your whole life. A bad week doesn't make a bad year. You know even a bad few years doesn't make a bad lifetime, just it, it. It's okay to not be okay, it's just not okay to stay. That way is one of my favorite phrases.

Speaker 1: 5:39

You know, I'm just taking a deep breath. Um, that's quite the resume for those who you want to check those boxes. And I mean I'm, I'm leaned into the mic and that is not that. That is simply because I was so enamored with that story. May I ask a few questions to understand more?

Speaker 2: 6:01

absolutely I. I'm literally an open book. I wrote a book on those ups and downs you know I want to go back to.

Speaker 1: 6:09

I'm making assumptions, so please add clarity where required. When you talk about gymnastics, I I'm, I'm assuming that gymnastics is, you know, was has been, it's still, it's ingrained in a huge part of life, right, right? And when you say, hey, you're going through extensive training protocols to like these are my words qualify for Olympics, right? So now you're essentially on the teeter-totter of an Olympian athlete. That's no small feat, that's massive right.

Speaker 2: 6:39

Yes, I left home at 13, moved into one of the Olympic training centers at the time. I made the US team in the 80s and I traveled all over the world Japan, hungary, germany. I was with Mary Lou Retton, that crew back then. We actually were friends and we roomed together a couple of places, because my maiden name is Rofi and it was Rofi and Retton. It wasn't because we were like one or two, we just both had names that began with R but we knew each other. But I was on that trajectory on the cover of magazines as an Olympic hopeful. And then, when you don't make it, at the ripe old age of 16, you just feel like your life is over, like I wasted my whole life.

Speaker 1: 7:16

And.

Speaker 2: 7:16

I talk up yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:20

Go on. Sorry, that was an inside thought that came out, but thank you, holy smokes, go on.

Speaker 2: 7:24

That was an inside thought that came out. But thank you, holy smokes, go on. So, yeah, so your whole life is wasted, right, and you see this in young people today. I've have adulting children that kind of went through their own times of really committing to something and then having it not work out exactly like they planned. But, uh, when I think about it now with some perspective and this is one of the things that I I've really spent time looking back on um, and each big this, what I call in my life, any big thing you're going through, is you're this and this is one of the things that I've really spent time looking back on and each big this, what I call in my life, any big thing you're going through, is your this, these are my thises. It's not on my resume, it's not the top stuff. I think the stuff that you go through that's not on your resume actually makes you who you are and what you bring to the table.

Speaker 2: 8:05

But as I went through that at the ripe old age of 16, you know then I picked myself up, figured out a path forward, and then I blew out my knee in college and when I lost my sport altogether, not making the Olympics full of shame, guilt, all the things embarrassed to go back to my high school, like all the things that you would if you didn't. You know you failed, I thought I'd failed and you know you make the US team but only six girls actually go to the Olympics. There's 20 of us on the US and there's a lot of people vying for it and it wasn't because I mean, I actually did not do well that year, but I also wasn't in the top five or six. I mean there were really incredible athletes ahead of me, anyway. But I figured out a path forward and I went and did gymnastics in college and that also was a big part of me. But losing my sport was game changer for me. I didn't know who I was without gymnastics because I had spent my whole life in the gym and that's when I really felt like I just wasted my life. Like who was I without this sport? And it was, if I do the math now I'm a little bit of a math geek If I go back and do the math now when I blew out my knee at 19, gymnastics was 75% of what I knew in life.

Speaker 2: 9:14

Of those 19 years of my life, most of them had been in a gym. I hadn't gone to parties or high school things or football, I just lived in the gym. So most of my life had been in the gym at 19. Now I can play it forward, that 75% of my life. I can play it forward and see that down the road. Down the road when I turned 50 and my kids left for college. Now I've already done television and I've done tech and my kids leave.

Speaker 2: 9:48

When I turned 50, at that point in my life, gymnastics was 28% of my life. It was a much smaller percent. So it felt like everything back then bigger number. And by the time I was 50, it was a smaller number. And if I live to be 100, which I need to drink less wine and take better care of myself, but if I live to be 100, which I need to drink less wine and take better care of myself, but if I live to be 100, then it'll be about 15% of my life.

Speaker 2: 10:13

It won't be my whole life, but I like to share that because young people going through big problems or tough times, it feels like everything, like every freaking thing is like that. But if you play your life forward and can literally like draw a line on a piece of paper from zero to 100, with little 10 dots across it so you can see every 10 years you could put whatever you're going through on that dot, on that line, and then you can see all this blank space ahead where there's nothing yet. So even on my tough days now I look at that blank space ahead. I'm like, oh, you got all this blank space ahead. Who knows what will happen next? You know.

Speaker 1: 10:47

One second. Can we pump the brakes a little bit here? I think there's a lot to unpack there, 13. So sorry, you mentioned 30, but at 16 years old you feel like a failure, coming off of the and that's, you know, a limiting belief that's up in your head, right Cause the rest of the world is, is pretty damn proud of you, right, and you're, you're right. You're showing up like you know, the Nina that everybody wants to embrace, and and what's it like? What's the? Can you recall what I want to?

Speaker 1: 11:27

I'm purposefully leading in this discussion because I think that there's a lot of young athletes out there, some of which I'm very familiar with. Look, I had the, I had the. I've had the pleasure. We have small children uh, christian's 11 and Cassandra's eight, um, but you know, I've had the pleasure of being around. But you know, I've had the pleasure of being around youth athletes and 16, anyway, from 8 to 18. The last several years has been around 16, 17, 18 year olds. And you know, what you don't know is what you don't know until you do, when you step inside changes and you find out that at 16, 17, 18 years old, we've had people who have overdosed on drugs. People have attempted suicide and survived, people who have run away from home, people who have no relations with parents that optically, all of this stuff seems like the checks and balances are there.

Speaker 2: 12:21

So now I want to come back to you and thank you for sharing this so vulnerably. But coming back to a 16-year-old athlete, what's it like to live through that? Well, I can remember. I remember specifically I mean I I talk about this in my, in my first book. I remember not. I mean I bombed a bar routine in the one of the qualifiers, so I was out, um, and so I knew it was not gonna happen. Uh, and so I was remember being like my.

Speaker 2: 12:40

My coach drove a red porsche, I remember, and so we drove home and I crawled in the back of it. There's not really a seat much back there, but I was too ashamed to even sit next to him and we had to drive back and the meet was like eight hours away. It was in Roanoke, virginia, I remember it specifically, and we were driving back to the DC area and so I'm in the back of this car just in a fetal position, just trying not to, you know, make noise or cry out loud or anything. I just felt like I had ruined everything for me. My family had given up so much for me to move away from home. My coach had put so much into me, like he had had other athletes make the Olympics before, so now. It was his chance to go back again. He didn't have that chance. You just feel like you let everybody down and then by the time the next day comes, I have to get up and go to school, right, and I have to walk down the halls of my high school where they've been hearing like hey, everybody watch Nina on World of Sports. This weekend She'll be competing in Japan.

Speaker 2: 13:42

Like, so it was like such. And who wants that Like first? No high school kid wants them making that announcement. But my friends lived through all that. So I thought that that's how everybody saw me and I was just so ashamed to go back and not have made it and that shame and blame and just sunk in heavy. It was years later. I was inducted into the Hall of Fame at my high school, 20 years after high school, and I went back and some of the people and there's a plaque on the wall with my name on it and stuff and I thought I just thought, thought of myself as such a failure. But the people around me and the things they said, they're like we loved, we were so proud to even know you and we loved having you in our school and like, but at the time, all I felt like I just couldn't wait for high school to be over and get the hell out of there.

Speaker 1: 14:31

So what happens next? From a support Like you're mentally defeated, right, how do you get through that? What do you do next?

Speaker 2: 14:37

Well, nowadays there's all sorts of support systems.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Right, but at that time.

Speaker 2: 14:41

There wasn't a whole lot. I had a couple of good friends. One of them is still really a good friend of mine to this day. I happen to have a friend who is one of the kindest humans on the planet.

Speaker 2: 14:56

She ended up spending 30 years working in hospice after college and I just it's a really special person who can do that, so happened to be one of my dearest friends and she was always there for me and kind.

Speaker 2: 15:03

And then I had, you know, my parents were both busy and they I think they said the right things and but then it was all about I. You know, I was the youngest of four kids. I had to get a scholar, a college scholarship. I couldn't just quit, I just didn't even want to go back to the gym, but they pushed me to keep going and they're like you've put so much into this, you can go and get a full ride to college now, because we can't afford to send you. So it became, you know, they helped me switch my focus to the next thing and then a few friends around me helped me look at who I was, like I was still their friend and they would say the right things. I think I was kids. And then, oh, and then I got my first boyfriend after that too, because I'd never really dated.

Speaker 2: 15:46

Sure, of course so yeah, so that was really reaffirming. And you know it's a high school I guess I was. It was going into my senior year, so that became a thing. They sent me to the US gymnastics team at the time, sent me to Australia to promote the games, like come to America. That was 84 when the Olympics were in the USA in LA, and so they sent me to Australia for seven weeks to promote the games and come to America and to compete and do exhibition stuff with the Australian team all over. That was a wonderful distraction for that summer while leading up to the games.

Speaker 2: 16:23

So I had other things going on. So the answer to your question is not one specific thing. I think the ways in which I got through it was a handful of good friends, parents. That redirected my focus because I had some work to do. I had to get that college scholarship and three. The US Gymnastics Federation, usgf back then did take, you know, give us other things to work on towards still representing our nation and doing some things, which was, I think, reaffirming sure, so what do you learn?

Speaker 1: 16:51

what do you share with you know the 16, 17 year olds that are going through something like that today.

Speaker 2: 16:57

The concept that when it feels like everything, it's really hard to see what a big, amazing world you can have I mean life you can have after that. But especially when someone's really good at something. This is what I told my son. My son blew out his elbow. It was high school year of baseball and all the D1 schools pulled scholarships.

Speaker 2: 17:21

And I told him and I say the same thing to young people all the time choose something else to go be great at. There's so much out there. Now you get to do something different, like choose something else. That may take some time, but you're going to find something else that you want to be great at. It's just going to. And just because you lose your sport or because you have a big failure, life is so full of so many amazing opportunities you have no idea what your future is going to look like, and it's really hard to see it when you're in it. And that's why I go back to it's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay that way and no one's coming to save you. That's the big thing, right?

Speaker 1: 17:55

Like you know, I teeter with stoicism a little bit. Right, and I read something I think it was Marcus Aurelius, you know, like blow your own nose or something to that regard. We're like, in other words, nobody's coming to save you. What he's saying is nobody's going to come and wipe your nose or wipe your tears. You know, interpret it how you wish, except that always coming to knock on your door and say, here, here's your golden ticket and and your free ride, like I mean, you've demonstrated that you, you worked your butt off to get where you got, you failed at it.

Speaker 1: 18:23

Right in your eyes, you feel miserably in your eyes, not in the eyes of the world. Right, right in my own. You, you, you pivot, you excel at college to a certain level and then you think game over again. How much longer can I deal with this? Right and like, again, there's ebbs and flows and it's not okay to wallow in our sorrows. I mean, you want to. It's cool to be down there. It's not hanging out there, right? What was it? Tell me again. You've said it twice, but what is it you say?

Speaker 2: 18:53

It's okay to not be okay. It's just not okay to stay that way.

Speaker 1: 18:56

It's not okay to stay that way.

Speaker 2: 18:58

Yeah, we all have the lows. You actually learn a lot in those lows and the people who've gone through some real lows will tell you that's what made them as strong as they are taught them the most when they're going through tough times. I like to be able to share with young people my failures because they can look at me and go, oh my gosh. I mean, if you just look at me like USA gymnast Emmy award winning news anchor, took a company public and made lots of money in an IPO and an author of a book like that is just my above the line resume stuff. Really important things in my life that created the me that was able to have those successes were the gymnast who didn't make the team and the one who blew out her knee, and then the young reporter who did some tough stories and then, as an anchor, got fired and then a divorce and a traumatic experience and like all those things. Those are what made me who I was. It's not the resume stuff and everybody's has that.

Speaker 2: 19:58

You have these ups and downs, I call it, and every time you get back up over that line, if you're drawing a line of like status quo, every time you get back up over that line. You know, out of the dregs, the down lows, then you're stronger and you just life is full of those. It it's ups and downs. You can draw it on your own timeline and you can see the ups and downs if you mark them on that timeline. I was up and then I was down. I was up and then I was down.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Sometimes, you know, and if you're trying to do anything in life, especially if you're an athlete or a musician or you start a podcast or you start a new business, like you're aiming I set a goal out there it's never going to be flatline easy. I mean it's not just going to be status quo because you're trying to do something hard so you're going to drop the line on the days it doesn't work. You're going to be up when the days it does work. But we're not flatline people. If you're listening to this podcast, If you've set a goal or you're trying to do something, you're just not okay with the status quo.

Speaker 2: 20:58

You're not okay to just go along and what I call flatline If you look at it like an EKG. We're not flatline people. If you want more, there's going to be highs and lows and it's just managing those highs and lows and watching your language. I have a framework and I'm big into stoicism. I'm glad you mentioned that Huge Marcus Aurelius fan. Wear him on my wrist, but I do. I have a four-part framework. That's some stoicism, and you know cognitive behavior therapy and other neuroscience and big data that I've done my own mashup to help people keep moving forward because you know no one's coming. It's up to you to make whatever you want to out of your life.

Speaker 1: 21:37

Okay, hang on, you know you're, you're, you're not dropping the climax of the story and then not unpacking it. What are those four? I want to know those four things.

Speaker 2: 21:45

Okay, so I call it my this framework. So, whatever you're going through, is this like you're, this my, this is where my five big ones. But whatever you're going through, this thing that you wake up going holy crap, I got to deal with this. You know what's going on in your life. Maybe you've been, you know you've had a death in the family or an addiction or something. Yeah, big stuff, and even the little stuff.

Speaker 1: 22:06

You bombed a class or yeah, you know, can we just pull the handbrake for a moment in time? I think that's worth recognizing too, because even the little stuff right, because you and I as human beings, as we've evolved through life might seem as smaller deal items to somebody else, that's their world.

Speaker 2: 22:24

Oh, you bomb a class or you get drunk at a party and make a total fool of yourself. Like those things happen in young people's lives and they just feel like their life is over, like they've ruined everything.

Speaker 1: 22:33

Yeah, so okay. So now I want to come back. So what now, like go on.

Speaker 2: 22:38

So there's the my, that's your this, whatever you're doing with, and so I put it. I run it through a four part framework and it has that timeline in it, so I call it my four tips.

Speaker 1: 22:49

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:50

That's no one you know, no one wants to remember difficult acronyms. So TIPS is my acronym. People are always asking me for TIPS and it's put it in your timeline. Isolate it, pull in the right people and craft your story. So the timeline piece I shared a bit. That's taking whatever it is this is and putting it on where you are in your lifetime timeline, that 0 to 100. Like putting a dot on a piece of paper where it is.

Speaker 1: 23:18

Okay.

Speaker 2: 23:19

And that's that timeline piece and that's a lesson in perspective. It lets you see all the blank pages Hang on question for you.

Speaker 1: 23:28

So let's just vividly unpack this for the audience out there. If we're starting with timeline and we say, you know, okay, jonathan, today at 42, right, today, you're 42. Here's the timeline before that right Are you talking about? Like literally, folks start acknowledging some of the accomplishments. That's what's going through my mind. So I want to ask that question for clarity Is that what you mean by that?

Speaker 2: 23:53

That's part of it. I call it building your reverse resume. So you draw the timeline and you put your dot on there and then you can see everything that led up to this moment beforehand places you've lived, people you've been around, accomplishments or achievements you've had above the line, and then down below you can put like got through, this, dealt with this like and you can see this up and down, so's everything coming up to them.

Speaker 2: 24:15

And then part of this timeline thinking, where the stoicism comes into the timeline is there's this. You know this concept. Now you have a line drawn with some ups and downs. You're not the stab, you're not the flatline person and you can see right where you are and you can see that everything ahead is blank. If it was, if you're writing the story of your life, if it's, if you can see that everything ahead is blank, if you're writing the story of your life, if you're writing that book, it's your book.

Speaker 2: 24:38

What does it look like? What color is the cover? How thick is it? Is it a hardback or a paperback? The book of your life, I mean, is it a comic book?

Speaker 2: 24:47

Maybe you're a little quirky, like, what is the book of your life? Look like, sure, what's the font on the front? What's the font on the front? It says your name on it. You got to figure out the font. Like what does your life look like? You can actually open that book to today, like today, and this is kind of cool because you and I are having like this weird crossover moment, like when Supergirl shows up on the Flash and you're like what? But we have this like moment, but today you're on a page. Okay, everything you've done is filling the pages beforehand. And today you're on a page and all the pages ahead are blank and you have more control over what goes into those pages than anybody else Not your spouse, not your boss, not your parents, not the president it's you. You will decide what goes into those pages ahead and that's the timeline thinking Right there. And then the next part is isolate.

Speaker 1: 25:36

I want to thank you for allowing me to. I just want to thank you for that Cause, as you're talking about that, I'm like you know, how cool is it to actually I'm a visual person to actually create that Like, actually maybe a picture. I'm even thinking, you know, sit there with I love children, so it's even today where they can say, look, kiddo, you're 10 years old. What's the first 10 years of your life? Look like Cool. And then by the end of it, by the way, I'm reaching for a book of friends. See what this is? It's a bunch of blank pages.

Speaker 2: 26:07

What the hell is that supposed to?

Speaker 1: 26:08

mean? What do you want it to mean? That's the whole point, folks. It means whatever it is you want it to mean, because life is empty and meaningless except for the stories we attach to those meanings.

Speaker 2: 26:19

Yeah, you're going to put whatever you want in there.

Speaker 1: 26:21

Thank you.

Speaker 2: 26:22

It's a children's book with beautiful illustrations. What does the book of your life look like If you shut your eyes and you spend a minute really thinking about it? It's a cool concept to think all the pages ahead are blank. I just love that. And on my bad days because we all have bad days I don't have everything figured out I will think about all the blank pages ahead and I will think about all that blank space on my timeline. You know, give myself some grace to have a crappy day and go. A bad day does not make a bad week. You know, bad week doesn't make a bad life. I'm just having a crappy moment. I don't have a moment.

Speaker 1: 26:51

I'll sit in a minute, just having a crappy moment I don't have a moment, let me sit in a minute Right and you're checking in with yourself mentally, physically, spiritually, saying what does my body need right now?

Speaker 2: 27:01

Right now.

Speaker 1: 27:04

Thank you. I'm derailing this because I'm so intrigued, enamored, so isolate. We went from T timeline. I is isolate. Tell me why.

Speaker 2: 27:16

Okay, so picture, since you're visual, I'm going to do it visually for you. That's my favorite way to do it too. So you have your timeline drawn, your line, across your piece of paper. Okay, now draw a line straight up and down before it and after it, like everything that happened before and everything. You're isolating this dot on your line, all right, Okay.

Speaker 2: 27:34

And that's the isolate part.

Speaker 2: 27:36

And this is where you only have a certain place where you can take action.

Speaker 2: 27:41

If you spend a lot of time in your mental energy and your, your stress level and all of that, if you spend a lot of time in your head in the, everything that led up to this, the before, the woulda, shoulda, coulda, shouldn't have married, that guy, should, would, should have taken this course, shouldn't have hung out with those people.

Speaker 2: 27:57

Like any good therapist will tell you, if you're thinking about the before all the time, that's where depression lives. And then if you're thinking all your time on the other side of that line, on the other side of that line in the future, the what ifs and the doomsday scenarios and that future part, that's where anxiety lives. So you know, depression lives when your thoughts are in the past and anxiety lives when your thoughts are in the future. Have this isolated moment right here where the magic can happen. And the isolated piece is what can you actually take action on? And what I tell people is I usually show a picture of a glass and say is this glass half full or half empty? And what would you say if I showed you a glass half full or half empty?

Speaker 1: 28:43

Half full for me.

Speaker 2: 28:44

Yeah, because you're a half full guy, I'm a half full person too. However, it is not. It is a six ounce glass with three ounces of water. It just is, but without projecting our own wants or emotions or psyche onto it. The isolated is just like what exactly are we dealing with Without all of the you know our own thoughts and strategizing and stuff in our heads? So that's when, what are we actually dealing with in this moment? And I can do that and like when I didn't make the team let's use that as an example. So I was saying I was a failure.

Speaker 2: 29:20

That's the you know woulda, shoulda, couldas, and the future's bleak, and I'm gonna be, yeah, but in that moment I was a really talented athlete who had a whole you know so many options in front of myself and could go do anything I want. I had all this free time I had. Like it really changes you to like, what am I actually dealing with right now? I'm still the same person I was. I still have the same talents I had. I could go do all these different things. So that's the isolate piece that's really key for people who are working through it, so it grounds you.

Speaker 1: 29:50

It grounds you in the present moment is what it does.

Speaker 2: 29:56

Yeah, yeah, oh beautiful. Thank moment is what it does. Yeah, yeah, oh beautiful, thank you. So now we can see that on our timeline. We got the lines drawn, yeah, and then the next part is the p and tips. Yep, um, and that's people. So I draw a circle around your dot. That's on there, um, draw a circle around it and then figure out who's in this with you.

Speaker 2: 30:12

Uh, because when we go through something, we feel really alone even if you're you know, say you're in a car car accident, it's taken up all your head and maybe you're injured. You have to car fix, whatever it is that you're going through. I use the example of someone getting drunk at a party and making a fool of themselves because I counseled young people through that before because they just feel like college is, they're embarrassed, they have the shame, the blame and all of that. They made a mistake. But if you look at the piece so you draw a circle around, when things like that happen it's all in your head. You just feel like it's everything and you're in it all alone.

Speaker 2: 30:47

So the people piece is look at all your people, make the list of the people who's helping and who's hurting in your situation that you're in and who's missing, and pull in. Is it a therapist? Is it a who do you need in your life to help you move forward out of this? And it might be who needs to get out of your circle for you to be able to move forward out of this. But editing your people, because you're the main character in your story. I always like to share this too, and you have kids.

Speaker 2: 31:17

You shared, you have two, so I hate to shock you here, jonathan, but you are not the main character in their story. They are writing their own story, but you are a character in their story, and how would they describe you? Right? So this people piece is who's helping and hurting in your own world? And then the people. You are a character and everybody else's your spouses, your best friends, bosses, people you work with you're a character in everybody's story around you. They're writing their own books. What words would they use to describe you? Who are you know? How are you showing up for others? Are you the good guy? Are you the bad guy? Are you the villain? Let's not. Let's try not to be that. So that's the key.

Speaker 1: 32:02

I love this. Can we hang out in this space for a moment in time?

Speaker 2: 32:04

Sure.

Speaker 1: 32:04

I think that there's two things, because I this is real right, I don't make stuff up or share anything that I haven't already explored. So when you talk about that, saying yeah, and you know, for some folks out there it might be a two by four to the head, like you're not the main character in this person's world, because so many times things happen, how could this person, how could this person do that? Newsflash folks, you know what reality reality is, the filters in life through which they're seeing life as it's occurring to them right it's not the way that you see it right, but we live in a I.

Speaker 1: 32:39

This is challenging, so I'm gonna say it anyways. You know, sometimes we live in a soft society where we think like problems are our problems. I'm like holy smokes, we have no idea. I'm pivoting here. What I'm.

Speaker 1: 32:48

What I'm going is is when you talk about children I thank you for picking that up and listening a great listener Not the main character in our children's lives. And you know what? How I think I fit into their lives is dramatically different than how they think I fit into their lives. And the only way I know is I ask these questions. This is real, you know. You ask how do you describe dad to somebody else? What do you? You just you have to ask these questions. So thank you for identifying that I I'm. I'm stealing the energy for a moment. I want to pivot back because I want to throw this out there for the folks who heard what you're talking about. When you're talking about people and drawing the circle, and I love that what do we say to the folks out there who are really in a headspace where, like well, damn it, nina, jonathan, I don't know. I don't know who I need in my life or who I need to get out of my life. So what Now? What?

Speaker 2: 33:42

Yeah Well, I think you can write down the people in your life on a piece of paper. You do know, you just haven't done the work, but you can write down the people in your life who are important to you, or in your world when something happens, and either put them in the column of helping or the column of hurting, and there's no in between.

Speaker 2: 34:02

They're either good for you in this situation or they're not good for you in the situation. So I guess if they're not even a part of it, then they can stay in the good column if they're not hurting you. But you look at that and you see who's in your world and then part of the moving forward process is and you can ask anyone who is an elite athlete they have coaches, other executives. They call each other Like when the pandemic hit, all the CEOs were calling each other going how are you going to get through this? You've got people with therapists, people who have big success. Don't go it alone. So if you're in that, space.

Speaker 1: 34:38

Thank you for saying that, holy smokes 100% and the research shows it.

Speaker 2: 34:44

So if you draw that circle and you feel, even with your list, that you're in it alone, then that's when you realize you can't stay alone. You've either got to choose one of those people who's helping and really let them in. People want to help you. We push them away. I am not good at accepting help. I have pushed away so many people who've tried to help me in my life I just thought I could do it on my own. A lot of us do that. But when you go through something big or if you're stuck, if you're stuck and you've put it on the timeline, you isolate and you get to this people part. Maybe this is the piece that's missing to move forward. Maybe you just need to find and it could be the people in your life.

Speaker 2: 35:21

I'm big and I'm pro therapy, and now, with the online therapy, I think it's more affordable for everybody and I'm a big fan of if you've never tried therapy, if you're thinking about it, folks. And I'm a big fan of if you've never tried therapy, if you're thinking about it, folks. Therapy is like dating. Like if you go to a therapist and you don't like them, do not go back for a second date, like there's no reason to go back. There's a lot of different ways in which we interact with each other and therapists have different ways in which to interact with you. I have gone to one time to a therapist, like multiple people where I've gone yeah, you are not my person. This is not going to work.

Speaker 1: 35:54

And take that philosophy in everything in life right Folks, try things. I'm with you. I'm a strong believer and I always go to sport, and so I love that we can relate in sport here. Every great athlete at the top never got there by themselves. There's a boatload of coaches and it doesn't mean this is the coach for you. This means this might be the coach for you for this season, for this flavor, or maybe not, and that's okay too. See, everything has an experience. So it's same thing with therapists like this may or may not be the right person for right now, maybe in the future. I'm a listen, I. I, you're talking to the right guy, I. I have a boatload of coaches in so many different realms of life, because it's not like one coach can help me holistically. No, this one coach helps here, this one coach helps here, this person helps here. So this is what we're talking about. So thank you for identifying that. Is that the conclusion of P, or is there more for P?

Speaker 2: 36:49

That's it for the people, and I have other stories and things that I share, but the idea of the people is that one who's helping and hurting and two don't go it alone and other people are. You're not the main character in other people's stories, which is huge. You do have to see how you're showing up for other people too.

Speaker 2: 37:06

That's part of what you're. Your happiness and success is tied into how you interact with other humans. You won't be happy and successful all by yourself. It just doesn't work. There's plenty of really wealthy people with plenty of trophies on their shelves who are really unhappy because they don't have humans around them Like we need that.

Speaker 1: 37:27

Listen, our entire existence has been around human beings. That's why food and drink ties us all together. Because we're a societal culture, we're designed genetically to be around people. Anyway, listen, pivot to S the story. The story is S right.

Speaker 2: 37:44

Yes. So S is story and tip. So we've put on the timeline. If you look at your piece of paper now, you've got a line across it. You've isolated, with lines going up and down, going nothing before, nothing after. What am I dealing with, drew? A circle around it. Who do I need to pull in my people in there with me so I'm not alone? And then the last part is you write this is, and you put a and you have to. What is this? It's the language in our head that we use. So we have to work on this, because a lot of us use very self-sabotaging language, myself included, and we can overgeneralize this always happens to me or catastrophize Everything's ruined. This is never going to work.

Speaker 2: 38:19

That language in our head comes out of our mouth and becomes our story. So the thoughts in your head come out of your mouth and becomes your story. So this last part's all about editing in your head and getting yourself to a better place. The other piece of self-sabotage is jumping to conclusions. They didn't text me back, so they must think I'm an idiot. Or they didn't respond to my emails and they must think it's a horrible idea. They're busy running their own lives. It's nothing to do with you.

Speaker 1: 38:45

You're not the main character folks.

Speaker 2: 38:47

No, no or exaggerating. That's another way we self-sabotage. I've got five million things to do and I've got 50 loads of laundry. I always say that, sometimes from the stage with thousands of people, like, has anyone actually done 50 loads of laundry? Like, no, we got to watch the language in our head comes out of our mouth. Because if you live in the world where, every day, you've got 50 loads of laundry and a million things to do, that's the world you live in, right, that's your reality. When, in actuality, you've got a to-do list with a handful of things that have to get done that day and you could or could not do laundry, I'm sure you could, you know, get by another day without it. Like it's the world you choose to live in. So that's the piece. And the last piece of the self-sabotage is the belabor piece, where it's, you know, we keep going back. That's going back where I wish if so-and-so had just done their part, or I wish we had done things differently. So how I'll explain this.

Speaker 2: 39:40

Sometimes, if say you and I, you know we're, we come home from work and our kids are around, okay, so you walk in the door and your kids are there, or I'll do me, so I walk in the door and your kids are there or I'll do me. So I walk in the door and say my kids are little and I've had a really crappy day. And my kids can tell, and they're like Mommy, what's wrong. And this would be when they were young. You know what's wrong and I would.

Speaker 2: 40:02

So the very self-sabotaging Nina, like the Nina, if I said things in my head I'd go well, you know, today was a crappy day and I'm an idiot and I work with a bunch of idiots and we bomb this thing and it's never going to work and I'll probably get fired, we're probably going to have to cancel Christmas. Like that's the thoughts in my head as I'm driving home, like all the bad things. When, in reality, when it's a child, we say things like oh well, mommy's just a little grumpy, but she's smart and she works with smart people and we're going to figure it out. It's not like we're going to have to cancel Christmas or anything. So it's switching our language to be kinder in the way in which we think.

Speaker 2: 40:40

Again, thoughts in our head and what comes out of our mouths, because that becomes your story If you're the person who's walking around going I hate this town. My friends are jerks, everything's ruined, but that's who you are. You live in that world and no one wants to be around that guy, so you got to edit your own language, yeah.

Speaker 1: 40:58

I love that, right, that's the story part. Well, you know, and the language we use shapes our reality, yeah, right, so it's like if we walk around and say I can't believe I'm an idiot, then subconsciously you're already throwing that out to the universe, right? It's already coming back to you to say well, you're an idiot. Well, no, I had a less than desirable moment, or I made a mistake. Actually, I'm rather intelligent and just made a poor decision for a moment in time, and then, all of a sudden, things shift right.

Speaker 2: 41:25

Right. But we have to think that way or otherwise. Otherwise, people that you say I'm an idiot, they're like oh, that's that guy. He calls himself an idiot. Like that is the. You're creating that story for yourself. That is, you're creating your own reality with that. Yeah okay.

Speaker 1: 41:38

So I I'm curious now right well, your sign just fell, that's a, it did. That was bizarre, um so in here so we we touched on stoicism, and you know, I know, that there's a little bit of neuroscience tied into that. Um as well, unpack that like where does stoicism, neuroscience, where does that play a role in your life? How does it play a role in your life?

Speaker 2: 42:00

well, that's part all of that. Uh, it's kind of wrapped up and overlaps in all four of these steps. So, um, if you think about like stress and stress response, like the neuroscience of like how our body reacts to stress, so that's the instant thought of everything's ruined. It's that cortisol.

Speaker 1: 42:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:18

And it's that oh, everything's. You know this isn't going to work. That's that adrenaline, that's our heart rate and that's unhealthy. Or when somebody says something and we, you know, sort of halfway listening, and then all of a sudden they say something that is going to affect us, we have that surge of norepinephrine that's super focused, like wait, wait, what are we doing here? So all the time those stress responses are going on in our bodies. By any time something changes. You know, if we have a plan for the day and we walk in and someone's like, hey, can you help with this, can you do that? Oh, your kid's school calls in the middle of a big meeting, like all of that, if things don't go exactly as planned, that cortisol, that adrenaline, that like all of it is going all the time.

Speaker 2: 42:55

So that's the neuroscience, the pieces of that for us. And then you know the cognitive behavior therapy replacing good thoughts with bad thoughts. That's a little bit, a little bit of self-sabotage in that language. You know, how do we get through our, how do we train our brains? You know, with cognitive behavior therapy, how do we train our brains to be a little kinder to ourselves? That's replacing bad thoughts with good thoughts, and that's where that fits in. So those fit in both in the timeline, also in the isolation piece, how our body responds to the past and the future, and then obviously the stoicism, and maybe a little. Ancient Chinese philosopher, lao Tzu is the one who said when you're living in the past you are depressed, when you're living in the future you're anxious, and the only place to find peace is in the present. You know so, and that's been said a lot of different ways. You know it's fun to do when we talk about I talk a lot about. I don't go into the science of the overlap, because most people just want the solutions.

Speaker 1: 43:57

They want the nuggets yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:59

Yeah, so I hand them the solutions. But what's kind of fun is and I do this sometimes I'll take a phrase and I'll go just ancient Chinese philosopher, and then a Greek philosopher, and then you'll find Emerson said it another way, and then Dr Seuss said it another way, so you can see it play out in all the different ways. I'm not saying anything that's new, no, I'm just trying to share things in stories and overlapping concepts so people can hear it. Someone may hear me say something that lands with them in a way that it hasn't landed with others, and they may be able to hear it from me and in a different way than they would hear it from you or from someone who was more like them, depending on where they're coming, you know what age they are, race or gender.

Speaker 1: 44:44

Well, it's the evolution of things too, right, I mean, we know, we know, but we also we've learned a lot and I love what you say, because that happens so frequently is that you know, listen, folks, think to your own lives is how many times do you hear people say something and then, all of a sudden, one person says and it lands, and it sticks like oh yeah, nina said this, so I'm going to go. Well, yeah, but you've had Mark and Jim tell you this for for for two decades. It just happened. Life's about timing.

Speaker 2: 45:10

Oh yeah, I can go back and pick up a book. That's why I reread books. I have a handful of books on my bookshelf that I will pick up and reread and I'll read it. Totally different, a very different experience with the book five years later than I did, cause I'm a different. I'm different. You can't, you can't unsee things, you can't unlearn things like now it's in your head and for all of you listening. Now I'm in your head. I'm like planting little seeds.

Speaker 1: 45:33

Yeah, and so hang on. You mean you talk about books. What are the top three books that are on repeat for you?

Speaker 2: 45:38

Oh gosh, I don't think I have a top three. That's a good question. I always like I've got lots of books in Sto Marcus Aurelius. That's always right up there. There's a book when I'm trying to do something big or or create something business wise or from an entrepreneurial perspective. There's a book called Play Bigger about cat, about category creation that I like and you know, and the old crossing the chasm and inside the tornado when you're thinking about technology and stuff. Those were like.

Speaker 2: 46:07

I probably read those books 10 times in my business brain. And then I have. I have some children's books, zen shorts. If you never, if you don't have that children's book with the panda, zen shorts, I have all of those and I can grown me in my 50s and my kids are all grown and gone. Those are on my shelf in my office and those are I go to on a day where I'm feeling a little lost or trying to figure out exactly what I'm trying to do in the world. Those are go-tos too. So I don't know if I have a top three. I'd have to really dig and think of it.

Speaker 2: 46:44

Yeah, there's one that's on my bedside and I can't think of the name of it, but it is like a daily reflections book. I can't think of the name of it, but it is uh like a daily reflections book. I can't remember who wrote it, uh, but it's a really good one. It's not religious, it's just daily reflections in general is it like on stoicism? Yeah, yeah but it's not Ryan Holiday. I don't remember which one it is um, okay, cool, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1: 47:07

so you've unpacked a boatload of stuff of who you are today and how Nina shows up to the world today, and there's a lot of dark moments and gray moments and light moments along the way. I want to touch on something that you know you were so vulnerable and share before we push the green light go button, which was you know, there was a dark, dark period of time of time in your life where you know you were having some real uncomfortable thoughts with yourself, sort of, and maybe, maybe and I'm not sure if I'm paraphrasing or not, so I'll let you unpack it. You know, when you start to sort of second guess even the purpose of life, take, take our audience to there, because I think that that's important to demonstrate who you all the stuff you went through, because on the resume you checked all the boxes but who the hell are you as a human being and talk about some of the uncomfortable stuff too.

Speaker 2: 47:58

Well, at the time I was a news anchor very popular news anchor in my town, and I was involved in an accident and I went from reporting the headlines to being the headline and it was no fault of mine. But I was wrapped up and curled into this horrible story that everybody was focused on and I don't want to relive it here. I talk about it in my book but it can be very triggery so I don't want to share it openly on a source like this. But in that days and weeks and months following this accident, when we didn't know if everybody was, you know how it was going to all hash out in the end, and I was just caught up in the scene of it I just didn't want to be part of that world. You know, I didn't want this to be part of my story. This wasn't who I was. I was everybody's favorite news anchor and this lead athlete and stuff. I wasn't a person who was caught up in this mess. So I didn't want to be. I just if the story of my life, the book of my life, this is a chapter I did not want. I didn't want to be labeled with this. I didn't want to be a part of this, this like I was happened to be there at the time and I was now part of this world and I just couldn't find a place where it would land and I'd be okay with it and I couldn't imagine me being me in the future with this as part of me. So it was.

Speaker 2: 49:20

It was like a few weeks later when I had to go back on the air, took a few weeks off of being on tv and I remember standing there with a razor in my hand, staring in the mirror, thinking if I just slice up face, they won't think I'm pretty and they won't want me to do TV again. And then I thought, or I could just be done. Like I've already done a lot. I've already been a world class athlete and I've already had kids and been on TV. I'm like, can I just be done? And I just was really questioning why stick around? It was all too much. I just had cried as more as I could cry, I was numb from all the pain and I just thought I just don't want to keep going. And I now I mean, thank goodness at the time I had a good therapist, I had some good people around me. That's the people piece and I now can see I did all of these things. I had someone help me. Look at my life. You have all these years ahead of you.

Speaker 2: 50:12

My kids were tiny back then. Now they're. My youngest is 25. And she lives in New York. She's actually flying home tonight. I can't wait to see her. But and the other one's 27 and he is in med school and one's in the Air Force Like they're adulting and doing amazing things. I wouldn't have been around for any of that.

Speaker 2: 50:29

I get to think about it now. It's heartbreaking to think that I was even that, would even have that thought, and all the crazy things I've done and the successes and failures since then. And I tell my kids I'm sidetracking. But I told my kids once I said, if you ever get in that place where you just feel like I, just everything sucks and I don't know what to do, like I don't even like my life, I'm like then just they're smarter than me. I'm like, just you're smart, hack into my bank account, steal my money and like, go on a spending spree and go like travel the world or something. I don't know anything but that.

Speaker 2: 51:01

Because whatever you're feeling now, five years from now you're not going to feel like that Five years from. Whatever you're dealing with right now, it's going to be a story you tell. It is not going to feel like it does right now, but I had some people around me back to me again. I had some people around me who helped me get there to see that. And it wasn't even five years, a year later, I mean, I went back. So I finally did go back on the air. I listened to my therapist, I put down the razor, I was fine. I went back on the air, got through it and five days from then people had already moved on to another story. Five weeks from then it was part of my world, but wasn't my whole world. And five months, five years later, it was just something I had gone through. It was not my whole life, but in those moments it can feel like your whole life, thank you, and yet it doesn't define you.

Speaker 2: 52:06

Thank you, and yet it other end of it, go. Hey, life is long, don't put all your eggs in this basket. Like, this is a moment in time, even when, like someone wins the Olympics, I always say the language, that language piece like this is and I hate it. They do these to these athletes, but they'll interview them Like is this the best day of your life? We need to teach people to go yes, the best day of my life yet so far. Yeah, yet throw in the word yet the best day yet. Um, it just is a game changer. But yeah, the the, the way you feel right now is not going to be the same. It's going to be a story you tell, it's going to be a chapter in your book.

Speaker 1: 52:40

It's not your whole book it's not your whole book and you know it goes back to how we started this with, with sort of the, the blank pages. And you know for, for, for anybody who you're pulling up my you know, for anybody who you're pulling up my heartstrings here. But for anybody who's in that sort of headspace to say, like this sucks and I know you created a podcast called this Seriously Sucks. You know if we touch on it that's cool. But you know, if you're in that headspace of this seriously sucks and there's nothing else, change the narrative, flip the script. Folks, think of those blank pages, right, it's those. Look at where you're at, you're at the space where you had small, small children at the time, right, and all I can think about is flipping this page. This page is going.

Speaker 2: 53:24

The story's not done yet and uh that, the idea that it's always going to feel different. Down the road I had a young kid, a friend of mine. One of my kid's friends came home from college and he's the one like I always think about. He had gotten drunk at a party and probably taken some drugs too, and made a total jerk of himself. Like I said jerk, I'm editing Made a total jerk of himself, fell down some steps, bashed up his face and ended up in the emergency room Like it was all bad. And so then he hadn't gone to class because he was ashamed and embarrassed and he hadn't told his parents because he's like they're going to kill me now, I'm failing school. He was just in a bad spot and I sat there with him and when he came to visit and we went and like sat on the end of the dock and he was just like I just I don't know what to do, I'm like failing and I just want to quit and I'm just I don't even, I've ruined my whole life. But he kept saying I've ruined my whole life and I said okay, and this sweet Sandy here, big old baseball looking, baseball playing boy sitting there, and I said hey, give me a minute. So didn't you want to say you wanted to get a dog" and he said, yeah, looked at me like I was crazy.

Speaker 2: 54:32

I'm like, okay, so when you grow up and you want to get a dog, what kind of dog would you get? He's like I think I'd want to get a lab. I'm like so cool. I used to have a black lab, love labs. I said what would you name it? He said I don't know like a people name, like Eric. I was like I love that.

Speaker 2: 54:48

Okay, you and when you and Eric are walking down the beach five years from now you're going to look back on this and it's not going to feel like it does right now, when you and Eric are playing in the park or walking down the beach, because we live near a beach I'm like when you and Eric go to the beach and you're walking down the beach, this is not going to feel like this. This is going to be a really crappy story. You tell It'll probably like have some humor in it, but it's going to be a really crappy chapter in your life that you got through. It's just going to be a story. You tell.

Speaker 2: 55:20

It is not your whole life, nothing's ruined. You know, and I helped him work through some things and go forward. But for all of us whether it's maybe you don't want a dog, maybe it's a meal that you love Like five years from now, when you go to your favorite restaurant, you have your favorite meal. Whatever you're going through right now is not going to feel like this, like the world is still going to be out there in a very different way and it's hard for us to get out of our own heads sometimes. That's why I use the dog story, because you know it's hard for us to imagine the future with happiness and success or all those things.

Speaker 1: 55:51

Our brain is hardwired to keep us safe and wants us to go to you. Know you hardwired to keep us safe and wants us to go to you. Know anxiety and say you need to be fearful and plan for this and and you know I love what you're talking about and there it is. Folks in the audience out there is that this doesn't define you. This is a moment, this is a blip in your timeline. There are a whole bunch of blank pages that are waiting to be written. Thank you, nina, for sharing all that and unpacking that. My God Happy. Thank you, nina, for sharing all that and unpacking that.

Speaker 2: 56:16

I'm happy to do so. I hope some of it lands with your viewers in a meaningful way. I think it's really important and I'll say that again it's okay to not be okay. It's all right to not be okay.

Speaker 1: 56:28

But you just can't stay that way. It's not okay to stay. Just don't stay that way. I mean, listen, you've touched, moved and inspired me. You've touched, moved and inspired me, pulled on all my heartstrings. An honor, a pleasure, I'm grateful to share space with you. Thank you for this.

Speaker 2: 56:41

Thank you, jonathan, for having me. It's been a pleasure and it's so nice to get to know you.

Speaker 1: 56:45

You know there's a few more things. I want to leave it on some fun notes. You know we talk about the future and sort of some of the anxiety and I want to, you know, bring in the fortune telling ball. You know, if you had a crystal ball that could could tell the future, what do you think you want to know about the future?

Speaker 2: 57:11

That's a good one. I wouldn't mind knowing some lottery numbers, just like everybody else, but or who wins the World Series or something, the lame stuff I think of Back to the Future yeah yeah, yeah, who the president is going to be.

Speaker 2: 57:25

All the Back to the Future stuff Like I totally do that. I'd love to see what how we fix global warming, like there's all sorts of big issues that I would love to know the answers to, sorts of big issues that I would love to know the answers to. But when I look at, what I'd like to know is in the future is what the mental health of our society looks like. I'm so much into that space right now and what I should be doing now to help in a meaningful way, because I think that if I knew more about where we were going to end up.

Speaker 2: 58:05

The world's changing so fast. We have this constant global connectivity and we're so different than the world was 20 years ago. With the amount of information and the technological advancements and that constant connectivity and the FOMO that we've created, I worry what that is doing to all of us. So I would like to know that. If I could look into crystal ball, because that's an area where I feel like I have something to offer to move the needle I just wish I knew exactly where we were headed with that. I think that'd be my crystal ball moment, along with lottery numbers in the Baseball World Series.

Speaker 1: 58:33

Yeah, and I appreciate you for saying that, because those you know, those are the cool. The dopamine hits that check off our brains. And yet you gave me probably one of the most insightful, touching responses. You know, when we talk about mental health, like, what can we do today? It's going to make a difference. That's what I'm with you on. That, I mean, that's bringing tears to my eyes. My eyes are just sweating up because it's like this is what I want to know. The heck can we do today? It's going to make a difference.

Speaker 2: 58:59

Yeah, and I say that to folks in their own lives Like what can do something today that the you five years from now is going to be proud of? I mean, just do something today that you five years now, and she'll call me sometimes because she's in New York, she's working in AI, she's 25. She's doing the whole New York thing, but she'll call me. She goes ah, if five years ago Emma could see me. Now I am crushing it today.

Speaker 2: 59:25

I have on a great outfit and I'm walking through New York and I'm like crushing it and I was like you go, you she goes. Ah yeah, five years ago, emma would would no idea how freaking cool I am right now that's amazing other days, yeah, other days she's not that cool, but you know those good moments. At least she can see.

Speaker 1: 59:43

Yeah thank you, so you know. Last question before you share the details on how to connect with you. The last question and I've shared passion and connection to children. If you could share one message and teach children one thing, what's the one thing you want to teach children of today?

Speaker 2: 1:00:04

Go be you. Everyone else is taken. I said this to my kids growing up all the time, and it's so hard in today's world because we're in this comparison culture. Just go be you. Everyone else is taken. Life is long. Go create your happiness. And I use Legos as an example. When you dump out a bunch of Legos on a table with a bunch of kids, no two kids would make the exact same thing. No, throw away the instructions. You got to be the master builder. You saw the Lego movie Everything is awesome. You got to be the master builder. You saw the Lego movie Everything is awesome. You got to be the master builder of your life. Like, no two kids are going to build the same thing. So take all the pieces you got and go make some amazing thing and when it falls apart, pick the pieces back up and start making it again. Like, legos are a great way to talk to kids about life and what that looks like. But go be you. Everybody else has taken.

Speaker 1: 1:01:01

Nina, thank you, I can't wait to connect again. There's so much more here. There's a lot of future conversations that I'm, I'm, I'm itching that and I want to respect your time for today and I want to thank you and there's a whole you've. You've impacted me, you've touched me and inspired me. You made my day, so thank you.

Speaker 2: 1:01:23

So, len, I'm so proud, I'm glad to know you and it warms my heart to know that some things that I said hit.

Speaker 1: 1:01:32

I hope they land in a meaningful way they land it well, and if they land it with me, I know that there's there's a boatload of others out there that it's going to impact. So, for all the folks who want to connect with you, want to know more how they get in touch with you, what are the details.

Speaker 2: 1:01:46

You can follow me on Instagram on Nina Speaks. I put some motivational and some fun things. I think I'm funny. I put funny things out there too. I think I'm hilarious. But Nina speaks. It's Nina underscore SP, period EKS. There's several Nina speakers out there so we thought it was clever because Nina SP like it's awesome, and Poe, which is my last name. So we broke it all up, but it's horrible to be able to say on the podcast how to find me. So it's Nina underscore SP, period EAKS.

Speaker 1: 1:02:16

Don't worry, you know what Vanessa out there. She's the backbone of the posting, the social media, everything she's going to capture all that. She'll drop that right in the link. There you go, so follow me on Instagram or on TikTok.

Speaker 2: 1:02:28

I've just started doing some more stuff on TikTok and I have a whole video shorts that we're getting ready to launch, which is a whole lot of fun to do because I used to do TV, so it's really fun for me to do those things, and you can find me on LinkedIn. If you're in business, connect with me on LinkedIn. I would love to speak to any other organizations. I speak to associations and companies and organizations who just need a motivational speaker. I have fun keynotes that I present, so follow me there and DM me, reach out to me. I so follow me there and DM me, reach out to me. I'm happy to help in any way. You can get my book anywhere where you get books. It's called this Is Not the End Strategies to Get Through the Worst Chapters of your Life, and you can if you're going through a tough time. It is a quick read. Hard to write a short book. I'm really proud of this one.

Speaker 1: 1:03:10

It's a quick read and it will vary tactical practical things you can do to get you out of whatever you're in the middle of. Thank you, yeah, you know what. Thank you for this, thanks for the tips. Literally, it's been a pleasure, it's been an honor. I'm grateful to share space with you, so thank you for today.

Speaker 2: 1:03:29

My pleasure and thank you for having me on, Jonathan.

Speaker 1: 1:03:31

You're welcome.

Speaker 2: 1:03:32

All the best to all your listeners, thank you.